Today, I realized that I’m still growing up. I mean, yes, I know, I’m young. And as a young person, we’re always learning. But, I think that I give myself so much credit, too much credit, I think. Having learned soooo much after these past months, I forget that I haven’t “arrived” at my destination, I’m on a journey. A journey definitely not completed yet. And driving away from my parent’s house tonight in tears wishing that I could just stay. Have my old room, worry about the silly stuff I used to worry about, to know that my mom was just across the house and my dad would probably bug me about something and we might get in a fight. But reluctantly, I put my car into reverse, knowing that I have begun my growing up, and I have to keep going. I thought I was past this… I thought I was all grown up and now in the phase of enjoying my independence. But the stress and the busyness of my life which then results in a little loneliness makes me miss having less responsibilities and having someone say goodnight to me.
And I know, if you’ve read even a couple of my entries, you know I will always try to end positively and reflect back to the Lord. And this will be no exception. As I’m struggling tonight to be positive, to keep my head above water, I cried out to Lord, “Lord, I’m so discouraged… refresh me.” And then it hit me. Am I willing to stop, to sacrifice how I’m feeling to access the refreshment that He WILL definitely give to me? I need only open the Bible… and trust. And that is what I will do.